to be known

To be known. 

To stand before my maker and say, “here I am choose me” 

and not know what he will say in return. 

Will he step back and smile, will he say baby girl I have known you all along. 

Will he wrap his arms around me, or will he turn away. 

That is the risk with love. 

It is always a choice. 

To trust that on the other side is goodness, to believe that he will make the choice every single time to pull me in close and say you are mine, now and always. 

He says he has known me always, knows my thoughts. 

Oh how he must look at me with so much sorrow often, so much pain knowing the torment I put myself through. 

He is repeating I Love you and you are enough over and over.

Is that his voice I really hear. 

Can I trust this man over all the others? 

Does he get angry in how I talk in circles? 

Does it frustrate him that I question myself all the time? 

Does he really know my heart that is so deeply in love with him- my heart that wants to be completely undone before him? 

Does he know I don’t know the steps to take that are not out of religion.

How to just be with him. 

To be seen by him.

I am so scared to be uncovered. 

What if he doesn’t like what he sees. 

What if there is to much work to be done. 

What if it rises again that I am too much or not enough. 

No, no- here I go talking in circles again. 

He is kind, and He is good. 

He is relational. 

He invites me in- every single time. 

I am known. 

I am enough.