Relationships are hard.

Relationships are hard. And being in a season of brokenness has taught me that I don’t fully know how to do them at all. I am a classic rescuer and care giver, either I am rescuing in a relationship or I am being rescued.  I have tried with all of me to let Jesus keep me centered and allow my gifts to be used for good, but they have overtaken me and become a weakness often. I am learning and growing but this process has lead to up and down and tears and hurt.

It has shown me that my entire life I have been hiding the true me at moments, and that is scary. Scary to think that I have not been bringing the fullness of who I am to every relationship and to the table. I have performed for people for years in order to gain their love and to be liked. I want to be me. Fully alive and operating as the woman Jesus made me to be.

To anyone I have hurt in this season as I try to set healthy boundaries and learn what I can and cannot handle, I am sorry. And thank you for the grace you have given me. 

Has anyone else ever walked through this?